Cut my hair but no one noticed
When I touched the air, found nothing there
But humidity and mist
To clean myself of all the rotten sweat
Left over from the night
The morning wet, I wouldn’t know it
Stuck beneath the fitted sheets filled with static left to dry
And like the laundry I would fold it
To hide the stain, to hide the shame
To be the one who never lied
I don’t know if I want this
I don’t know what I’m allowed to want anymore
I want my name all in lowercase
And a quiet dorm room
I don’t want to be the bad one
I don’t want to limit
How anybody feels
But I’ve been reading between the lines my entire life
So why are mine ignored
When all your needs are uncapitalized
Then you can’t blame the dyslexics
Who only want the best for you
Who only want to get you off
Your mind
I don’t know if I want this
I don’t know what I’m allowed to want anymore
I want my name all in lowercase
And a quiet dorm room
But I never told you
You asked and you asked and you tried
But I did not reply
And lying by omission is still lying by design
I lied, I lied, I lied
And for that
I apologize
credits
from Touch and Go,
released May 21, 2021
Music and lyrics: Maya Kikuchi
Music: Jack Cote, Jonathan Solomon, Terrence Xiao
Additional Vocals: Bethany Bronkema
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