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Touch and Go

by Neko Kā

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1.
Backscatter 06:18
When you fall asleep with lights on And the windows all are closed Then you'll never know what time it is Until you wake and check your phone And draw the blinds See the moon outside In the afternoon When you're lying in the feeling Of a book that's overdue And you get stuck And panic sets in And you know that someone's waiting somewhere Disappointed Left the porch light on So don't wait up Lock the door I've got a spare key So don't lose sleep Over something As insignificant as (me) I'd never lie Or tell you something I don't feel I guess that I don't see myself in that way Anymore When your starry moon-eyed friends Are all out glittering and happy And you try not to resent them Cuz you know you'll never be That happy So don't wait up Lock the door I've got a spare key So don't lose sleep Over anyone Especially not (me) I'd never lie Or tell you something I don't feel I guess that I don't see myself in that way Anymore I'll never try Or tell you not to feel Something that I don't see in myself in that way Anymore I guess that I don't want to see myself Anymore
2.
Call me by my name I like it when I see it in your mouth Or on the page Write me by the way I like it when I see the way your mind Begins to change Give me something good, I want it Give me something to believe in, I need it And though I’m out of sight You know that I would never leave you all alone Turning off the blue light so you don’t have to go I don’t really know you but I might Turning off the blue light, never saying goodnight Let me count the ways That I can rearrange the thought of you Inside my brain Let me be the rain That keeps you in the house and in my head And makes you stay Give me something good, I want it Give me something to believe in, I need it And though I’m out of sight You know that I would never leave you all alone Turning off the blue light so you don’t have to go I don’t really know you but I might Turning off the blue light, never saying goodnight But if you believe in me too Then I could be your someone A glimpse of better days A pen pal for the new age And if you would take a chance Then I will do the social dance That tells us what to say And makes us feel a new way If you just call me by my name I like it Give me something good, I want it Give me something to believe in, I promise that I would never leave you all alone Turning off the blue light so you don’t have to go I don’t really know you but I might Turning off the blue light And just saying that I would never leave you all alone Turning off the blue light so you don’t have to go I don’t really know you but I might Turning off the blue light, never saying goodnight
3.
My green mountain, I can see you Over solar panels and white picket fences That they said we should dream for Girl next door My green movie on the television screen Saving me from lazy summer Feeling like I should be somewhere else So tired of feeling tired One day you’ll make it If you just believe That’s what they said to me But I’m not dreaming I am the dream Climbing so that someone sees me I’m the highest, I am the peak Growing tall, growing lonely My green mountain, what a pretty photograph Capturing the moment just so we can see the next one From the future looking behind us At the past My green mountain I am you and you are me Everyone come climb us on the steep and uphill battle For a picture or a story One day you’ll make it If you just believe That’s what they said to me But I’m not dreaming I am the dream Climbing so that someone sees me I’m the highest, I am the peak Growing tall, growing lonely No man’s an island Everyone needs someone You’ll only make it If you’re next to me That’s how we’ll get to sleep When I’m not dreaming I am the dream Climbing so that someone sees me I’m the highest, I am the peak And I’m lonely
4.
Seashells 05:20
I had a job at the Corner store gift shop selling Seashells to tourists and giving directions Although I didn’t know myself What is the best place to go And what is the fastest route How much is bus fare Can I walk from here Say, you’ve got a pretty mouth for someone So unsure Me and my friends took our Driving tests at the same DMV Licensed for making our world a bit wider Although we didn’t know it would be the same What is the best place to go And what is the fastest route How much is bus fare Can I walk from here Say, you’ve got a pretty mouth for someone So unsure I had a job at the Corner store gift shop selling Fantasies to strangers and buying one for myself Although I didn’t know What is the best place to go And what is the fastest route How much is bus fare Can I walk from here Say, you’ve got a pretty mouth for someone So unsure Being in public, the most exciting thing Was getting people on streets to notice me Even though we only craved the attention Because it was something new, all of the pretense of Being an adult and making decisions Knowing what hurting is, being provisional, Having a secret that never escapes the mouth And feeling guilty for knowing what hands are about
5.
The Census 04:16
It hurts me when I cry and you don’t ask why Cause I’d never show you I replaced every pillowcase, shook the sheets clean And I might have thought my comment was clever When you liked my wordplay Now the letters are dead and I can’t tell If I’m funny or mean My will is stronger than chemistry My love is bigger than sadness Not apathy The census wants to know what I’m feeling Drop down list It’s not anger, I never yell It’s not pleasure, at least as far as I can tell But maybe I never felt it My will is stronger than chemistry My love is bigger than sadness Not apathy It’s not me It’s not me
6.
SUPERNOVA! 03:25
I took a breath of the sea and I got mad when it choked me (I didn’t want it, I didn’t want it) I took a nail to the arm and I got mad when it scarred (I didn’t want it, I didn’t want it) I lied and I said I was fine And when nobody asked me I gave no reply I tried trust and I tried serious (I didn’t want it, I didn’t want it) I threw my plans in the trash because I gotta go fast (I didn’t want it, because I’m Sonic) I lied and I said I was fine And when nobody asked me I gave no goodbye I could think it over Or I could be a SU-PER-NO-VA Mento, Coca Cola I just wanna SU-PER-NO-VA Cheat at the game and I will learn not to play (I didn’t want it, I didn’t want it) Stick your needles in me but don’t get mad when I bleed (I didn’t want it, I didn’t want it) You can forfeit your right to be wrong You can outsource the blame Doesn’t make it any less lonely I could think it over Or I could be a SU-PER-NO-VA Mento, Coca Cola I just wanna SU-PER-NO-VA If you don’t have a heart, then I don’t care if you’re smart (I didn’t want it, I didn’t want it) Take an incel’s advice and pay the human price (I didn’t want it, I didn’t want it) Free will to self-destruct Hello world, I’m not your manic pixie dream girl I could think it over Or I could be a SU-PER-NO-VA Mento, Coca Cola I just wanna SU-PER-NO-VA
7.
Cut my hair but no one noticed When I touched the air, found nothing there But humidity and mist To clean myself of all the rotten sweat Left over from the night The morning wet, I wouldn’t know it Stuck beneath the fitted sheets filled with static left to dry And like the laundry I would fold it To hide the stain, to hide the shame To be the one who never lied I don’t know if I want this I don’t know what I’m allowed to want anymore I want my name all in lowercase And a quiet dorm room I don’t want to be the bad one I don’t want to limit How anybody feels But I’ve been reading between the lines my entire life So why are mine ignored When all your needs are uncapitalized Then you can’t blame the dyslexics Who only want the best for you Who only want to get you off Your mind I don’t know if I want this I don’t know what I’m allowed to want anymore I want my name all in lowercase And a quiet dorm room But I never told you You asked and you asked and you tried But I did not reply And lying by omission is still lying by design I lied, I lied, I lied And for that I apologize
8.
I know things that I can’t put words to Only tell you how it feels on the tongue Feels like spring and it sounds like a funeral Though I’ve never been to one And when the mourning’s done You’ll wear your true colors In summer You look good in blue and in love And I don’t know what to say Something’s blooming, something’s dying But you look like change Let’s go down to the city on the ocean Neon nightlife of arcades Roller coasters scraping sky Let us go then, you and I As you zoom in, the orchestra swells Pan out across the waves You’re the close-up and the lead And I’ll play the starlet, honey You look good in blue and in love And I don’t know what to say No one’s moving, no one’s crying To the movies no one’s buying But you look like a change (you look like a change) How to love when the city’s on fire How to live within the lens How to wish for a smaller story When the screenplay never ends Let me give you a thought to hold onto If I can’t give you a hand Pick the place where we will go when People touch and time is golden You look good in blue and in love And I don’t know what to say No one’s moving, no one’s crying To the movies no one’s buying But you look like a change (you look like a change)
9.
Dream Song 02:59
I saw you in the store You did not quite look the same You changed your name I’d known you in the past You looked good then, but good things Don’t always last You’re always taking new shapes A tree or a face A poem I’ve read Or a dream in my head I saw you on the screen In the eyes of an actress Who did not look like me I’ve seen you everywhere But never getting clearer And never in the mirror You’re always taking new shapes A tree or a face A poem I’ve read Or a dream in my head I lost you when you were needed most From reaching out to second hands And holding time so close I’ll find you at someone else’s wedding toast You’ll look like empty coffee cups Familiar as a ghost I saw you in the store And I called you by your name You waved
10.
Ceiling Fan 05:04
I quit the game and dropped the cards all at my feet For you I’d break into my reserves of sincerity Wanna be the ceiling fan that puts you to sleep On nights when you can’t stand the summer heat And I’ll try, I’ll try, I’ll try, I’ll try To believe a word could mean what it did before And I’ll let it take control like an onset Of something I have felt but don’t fear anymore Ooh, is it you or is it loneliness Ooh, is it me or have I changed I keep seeing the future, dreaming a past that never was Oh, but you could be the bridge between what’s real And what I feel I think my life has just been growing up so far Writing love letters from the backseat of my parents’ car Someday I’ll want to shield my daughter from this ache But now I’m ready to make her mistakes And I’ll try, I’ll try, I’ll try, I’ll try To believe a word could mean what it did before And I’ll let it take control like an onset Of something I have felt but don’t fear anymore Ooh, is it you or is it loneliness? Ooh, is it me or have I changed? I keep seeing the future, dreaming a past that never was Oh, but you could be the bridge between what’s real And what I feel Turn the light on, I’m coming home Turn the light on, I’m coming home to you
11.
(voice memo) 03:59
I’m alone and I’m lonely But I’ll see you in the morning If I sleep in till noon And I know that I’m restless I can see it in the breath that stains the windowpane And every glass surface of you Take me home, touch and go Be the light of my screen And take me home, touch and go I don’t know anything anymore I am young and I don’t know you But I might if I figure out myself Where should I go and what is the fastest route Where do I want to be when the time runs out On being allowed not to know what you want So take me home, touch and go Be the light of my screen And take me home, touch and go I don’t know anything anymore This is the bluest moment When I miss the sound of a human voice And you leave me a memo And my reaction is a pictograph of a tiny star Exploding as I am Feeling as small as a lowercase letter So take me home, touch and go Be the light of my screen And take me home, touch and go I don’t know anything anymore

credits

released May 21, 2021

Produced by Jack Cote, Jonathan Solomon, Maya Kikuchi, Terrence Xiao
Written by Maya Kikuchi
Mixed and Mastered by Jonathan Solomon
Art by Jasmine Xie

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Neko Kā Brooklyn, New York

musicians meeting in the cloud, recording remotely for now.

our first album out now! 🐱🚗

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